╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╗ ║ ____ _____ ____ _____ ___ _ _____ __ __ _ _____ ║ ║ | _ \| ____| _ \_ _|_ _| | | ____| | \/ | / \|_ _| ║ ║ | |_) | _| | |_) || | | || | | _| | |\/| | / _ \ | | ║ ║ | _ <| |___| __/ | | | || |___| |___ | | | |/ ___ \| | ║ ║ |_| \_\_____|_| |_| |___|_____|_____| |_| |_/_/ \_\_| ║ ║ ║ ║ [SYSTEM ONLINE] ║ ║ ACCESS LEVEL: VISITOR ║ ╚═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝> LOADING REPTILE DATABASE...
> DECRYPTING SPECIES FILES...
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[RETURN TO MAINFRAME]
┌─[ SPECIES: PYTHON ]──────────────────────────────────────┐ │ DESIGNATION: SAMMY THE SNAKE │ │ CLASSIFICATION: Serpentes::Pythonidae::Python reticulatus│ │ STATUS: ACTIVE │ └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ |
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> ACCESSING SNAKE_DATA.DAT... [INTEL REPORT] • MAXIMUM LENGTH: 20+ feet (6.1m) - CONFIRMED • PROCESSING POWER: Constriction force 7.8 PSI • STEALTH MODE: Heat-sensing pit organs ACTIVE • RUNTIME: 20-30 years operational lifespan • ATTACK VECTOR: Ambush predator protocol [SYSTEM REQUIREMENTS] HABITAT: Southeast Asian server farms (rainforests) FUEL TYPE: Mammals, birds (monthly updates required) THREAT LEVEL: LEAST CONCERN (population stable) [DOWNLOAD SAMMY.ZIP] [PING SAMMY] |
┌─[ SPECIES: CROCODILE ]───────────────────────────────────┐ │ DESIGNATION: CRAIG THE CROC │ │ CLASSIFICATION: Crocodylia::Crocodylidae::C. porosus │ │ STATUS: OPERATIONAL SINCE TRIASSIC │ └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ |
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> EXECUTING CROC_SCAN.BAT... [SYSTEM SPECIFICATIONS] • BITE FORCE: 3,700 PSI - MAXIMUM DESTRUCTION • LENGTH: Up to 20 feet (6m) of pure power • WEIGHT: 2,200 lbs (1,000kg) armored unit • SPEED: 20 mph in water, 11 mph on land • ARMOR RATING: Osteoderms provide natural protection [ENVIRONMENTAL VARIABLES] HABITAT: Indo-Pacific wetland servers POWER SOURCE: Fish, mammals, birds, humans (ERROR: REDACTED) THREAT LEVEL: LEAST CONCERN (apex system) [INSTALL CRAIG.EXE] [TELNET TO CRAIG] |
┌─[ SPECIES: CHAMELEON ]───────────────────────────────────┐ │ DESIGNATION: CAMILLA THE CHAMELEON │ │ CLASSIFICATION: Squamata::Chamaeleonidae::C. calyptratus│ │ STATUS: STEALTH MODE ENGAGED │ └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ |
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> RUNNING ADAPTIVE_CAMO.SH... [HARDWARE FEATURES] • COLOR MODULES: Real-time skin pigment adjustment • OPTICAL SYSTEM: 360° independent eye rotation • TARGETING: Ballistic tongue - 13mph projectile • GRIP SYSTEM: Prehensile tail + specialized feet • SIZE: 10-24 inches modular design [NETWORK SETTINGS] HABITAT: Yemen datacenter (trees/bushes) INPUT: Insects.tar.gz (daily cron job) THREAT LEVEL: LEAST CONCERN (firewall intact) [CAMOUFLAGE MODE] [SSH CAMILLA@REPTILE] |
| > MAINFRAME | MAMMALS.DIR | BIRDS.DIR | FISH.DIR | INSECTS.DIR < |
SYSTEM: REPTILE MATRIX v2.0 UPTIME: 250,000,000 YEARS KERNEL: COLD-BLOODED OS LAST UPDATE: Y2K COMPLIANT "There is no spoon, only scales"